/sigh

Tomorrow i'm going to pacific mall so that will be fun, to get away from oakville for a few hours.

God, "it" messaged me on msn asking what classes i have for this year and next and i told "it" and we're in a class together. 1 word. Awkward.

i continue to tell myself that everything is gonna be alright and all that shit, but a part of me doesn't believe it. Why does my senior year have to be so complicated and confusing?

i have so many questions that need to be answered.

1.why did "it" msg me after a year?

ok i only have 1 question, but i'm pretty sure there will be more in the future. I'm probably over reacting but i can't help it. Once i saw my taskbar flash orange from a msg on msn, my mind was FLOODING with questions. my eyes were widening and i began talking to myself out loud which is embarrassing. good thing i was alone atm.

This week "it" seems distant, don't know if it's because school is starting on tuesday or something else?

Someone i know was out with a friend for dinner and saw "it" and "it" was driving by and stopped and asked my friend to say hi to me for "it".

The thing that pisses me off the most is that after last year i was doing perfectly fine on my own. I didn't like anyone, well that's a lie, i liked someone after but turns out he doesn't like asian girls. Anyways after that i was some what free from this topic/issue and then beginning of August, BAM! msg from the past. Why! just like a quote from LC " It's like a radar he has. Oh. lauren is doing Ok better call her."

I don't know what to do, i don't know how to act towards/infront of "it"

to sum it up.

I'm Screwed.

i think i'm going insane. This month has been unpredictable and confusing.

i try SO hard to not think about "it" but i can't stop! i swear everytime "it" talks to me i get nervous to be honest.i just don't know what to do. i'm in a rut and i want to get out of it.

i'm just curious to see what happens when school starts.

i need help, i need to be sane again.

huh? that's gross

i have a few more days till school starts. eek.

so i decided to get prepared and wake up around 8-9. i pressed snoozed and fell asleep till 9:30ish. i got up, did my stuff in the washroom. i went downstairs and i fell asleep on the couch. gah.

now i'm awake after eating Kraft dinner..yum :P

i'm watching the tyra show and it's about how girls start out in prostitution. It was disgusting. there was a dad who is a manager to his daughter and does her hair, make up and even WAXES her legs and the big V! that's just nasty. Most of the girls that are in this "bunny house" are old. like really old, around 27 and up the youngest would be 18?..it's just degrading to think girls are doing this as a "career" 

i just came back from my registration and it was the longest wait of my life to take my photo. i actually waited in line for 1 hour..doesn't seem that long but it was a lifetime for me.

i have a song from wedding singer stuck in my head..its the only one i like..the last one on the plane <3

gah tomorrow is my registration day. school is starting so quickly :(
been playing rockband alot so far. already i dented the drum sticks...whoops.
i have no idea but i've been fussy over my hair and how it should look tomorrow..i think i'm gonna leave it down like always :P alot easier.

um, well i guess thats all i can think to write..
bye?

these past few weeks have been depressing.

why? school is starting. It will be my last year, which is also part of the reason.

yesterday i watched "Across the Universe" its an okay movie..i didn't like the story but i liked the songs they sang. pretty catchy.

Monday is my registration day :'( already. ah time for me to choose my lockers and get my photo taken.. hooray?

its 3:41am..i should sleep.

night

love cin.

hmm..it is 3:07am in canada and i am awake making a blogger account. First time here..usually on a website called live journal, no one interesting is on there now a days..that site is slowly going down hill. very sad.

well, not too sure what i can write about except for the fact that i don't want school to start?

you know when school is coming when you start to see back to school commercials or sales at department stores.

summer went by so fast, it's a shame to think that in a few weeks i'll be picking my locker all over again. *sigh*

well thats all i can say for tonight/morning.

love, cin